I Will Never Know How Much It Cost

To see my sin upon that cross. What a moment in eternity! Wow... what was it like in paradise that day? Was it dead silent? The death of a great king, the realization that the creation wanted their creator dead, true love crushed for the world to see. How could our God possibly love us when we hate him? My heart is torn every time I think about the pain I cause my God through my transgressions and hypocrisy. He put so much love and power into creating us. We were the masterpiece that he took the most pride in creating. We were his children. And like a parent whose heart is broken when their child goes astray, I cannot imagine the pain our King suffered when his children turned their backs on Him. I just cannot understand myself. How can I proclaim to be so in love with my King, and then deliberately fail him the next second. I hate this "mortal coil" that we are trapped in. This flesh has such a terrible grasp on us. It completely blows my mind when I think about all the things our King has been forced through and yet he still believes in us. I guess that is why I cannot get enough of his Word, it reminds me that God never gave up hope. He's been trying to restore us since the very moment we fell. Its such a great idea to ponder... God's Love for Us. He has not left us (I know that's a cliche). Think about it though, for some 6000 years, we have spent more time as a traitor to God than a disciple. I can almost bet that our transgressions outweigh our good deeds. Christ even says that our good deeds are like filthy rags. However, over all these years, God has not stopped fighting to win us back. Wow... how can anyone not fall in love with a God who cares so much about them??? Anyways, this whole concept is something that I think about everyday. I simply cannot comprehend how powerful that moment was when Christ lost his Life to his Creation. God has indubitable faith in us. Its too bad we have such a hard time to do the same for him.